Falling
by He's No Angel
Summary: Connor is falling...... in more ways than one. Attempted Suicide Alert. 1shot and drama galore. This is how Deep Down should have really ended.


**(DISCLAIMERS):_ Dont own. I would never own the true trauma of them._**

_**I would rewrite it.**_

**(A/N):_ I seriously dont know what this fik is or where it came from. lyrics are from Nickelback's "Savin Me", the ONLY song I like from them so far. Just WOW, THEY came up with that kool song? XO_**

_**This takes place literally one night after Connor was practically booted out from the Hyperion. I hated that whole episode. **_

_**So this is the remake.**_

_**Connor is, of course, the 1st person POV in the middle.**_

**(TITLE): **

**FALLING**

_**XXXXFALLINGXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Sitting in the dark, within his own darkness, of the hotel, Angel remembered the appalling events that had taken place the night before, almost reeling in sheer horror at his own behavior and actions and words.

And almost reeling in hatred.

Hatred at himself.

_"Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh, and cruel. But that's why there's us."_

His son had looked terrified at first, probably imagining all sorts of scenarios in his mind, ones Holtz had undoubtedly placed in his child's head, then wary as Angel took no action, instead, just continuing to speak in a low and calm voice.

_"Champions. It doesnt matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be. To show it what it can be."_

He had given his son a hard look after that._ "Youre not a part of that yet. I hope you will be. I love you, Connor."_

Then he had done something he now regretted, now was TRULY suffering for as every waking moment, every second since last night, had him recalling his son's face.

His beautiful boy's eyes.

_"Get out of my house."_

The Hyperion was not his house, not his HOME any longer, and would never be in the future.

Not unless his Miracle was with him.

Not unless Connor came back to him.

He hadnt been thinking clearly when he kicked his son out. His body had been starved of blood, mind turmoiled with hallucinations, and wishful thinkings and plans shattered by what his boy had mistakenly done.

But they were just that.

Mistakes.

Everybody did them. They were a part of growing up- a part of learning.

His son now knew the truth. He had learned. And was ashamed. Angel could see it within the boy's deep blue eyes.

But Connor was doing his suffering all alone out in a dangerous city.

Los Angeles.

_Lost Angels_

A lost son.

His lost angel.

He would find him and take him home.

And hope Connor finally gave him a home also.

_**XXXXFALLINGXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

The city stretched out before me.

Los Angeles.

My father's city.

Angel

I tried to kill him.

And then I made him suffer.

And he still...

He still...

I raised my arms up and open then closed my eyes as a cool wind blew past me, whistling softly, wiping off the grimace and trying to wipe away the pain.

**Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawling  
Oh, I reach for you**

I open my eyes quickly, though, the city again twinkling before me.

Angel's city.

Something he loved.

I didnt want it out of my sight.

**Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you**

Angel.

I tried to destroy a man that loved me.

Loved me after everything.

_"I love you, Connor."_

Love.

Fathe- HOLTZ never said it. He never said he loved me.

He killed himself.

He left me alone.

He never loved me.

I let my arms drop as something within me rose.

Something from my heart. Into my chest.

Burning and hurting and trying to be let out.

Now it rose into my throat.

My body shook.

Angel

**Come please I'm calling  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm falling  
I'm falling**

I moved closer to the ledge, never taking my eyes off the lights below me as I clenched my fists and placed one foot on the concrete block.****

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
And say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me

_"I love you, Connor."_

_"I love you, Connor."_

_"I love you, Connor."_

_"I LOVE YOU, CONNOR."_

The words repeated like an agonizing mantra and I couldnt stop them.

Couldnt stop from hearing them.

Because I didnt want to.

They were all I had left.

All I had left of him.

There was no way Angel could love me now. He was lying. He had to be.

I tried to make him pay for eternity.****

Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm falling  
And all I see is you

My eyes wandered to the place on my left, and spotting it, all lit up on the inside and glowing with its own soft and gentle light, I swallowed the lump that threatened to choke me again.

I would not die that way.

My body tensed as I stepped up, eyes turning away from the place of my dreams.

**These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story**

From so high up, the city was stunning.

Beautiful even.

So very beautiful.

And deadly.

Deceiving

Cold.

So cold.

So...like me.

This city was me.

Angel loved me and protected me, but unlike this city, I had hated him and hurt him and now, he no longer loved me.

Like I wanted him to.

Like I had always wanted him to, even when blinded by the words and actions of a liar trying to rob my true father's rightful place in the world.

My eyes swung to the home, my only home, the Hyperion, my gaze never straying, never swaying, even as my body did when I turned, my back now facing the city but head still twisted around to see the hotel as I hovered over a line the real Monster had crossed over just months ago.

It was why I chose this building, after all.

Maybe if I strained my eyes and looked real hard, Id be able to see him. A last glimpse and lasting image as I ended it all.

Angel

My Angel.

An Angel that would not save me now.

**And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm calling  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm falling  
I'm falling**

The tears started to fall and I couldnt stop them.

Didnt know how.

I never felt like this before.

I never felt like crying so hard before in my life. This horrible and painful and cruel life. Shameful and sinful. Not even God would accept me now.

He gave me to Angel. I shouldve known that. I shouldve realized.

I was meant to be with Angel.

And I threw it all away.

Everything

Angel

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be**

_**"**I love you, Connor."_

I almost smiled, listening to his voice again and keeping my stare fixed on my home.

MY home.

MY father.

MY Angel.

**  
And say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me  
Hurry I'm falling**

**  
**Others didnt have this chance. When they escaped, they must have been miserable and afraid and alone, but here I was, about to commit the same act, and even through my gut-wrenching guilt, I was...I was...

I was happy.

My father surely hated me, but I knew now.

I loved him.

I had always loved him.

And I could look at him as I disappeared. Nobody else had that. I could look at him now and smile.

MY Angel.

MY home.

They were the same.

The tears running faster, a full-blown smile finally broke out across my features.

I would smile as I did this. Something Angel always wanted to see from me.

My smile.

He would have it now.****

And all I need is you  
Come please I'm calling  
And oh I scream for you

"Dad..." The wind carried my voice away, but part of me still hoped he would hear it.

And hear my regret.

"Dad," I said again, this time louder.

A call. A longing. A hope. I just didnt know. A prayer maybe. A prayer for an angel, but hearing no answer and not even expecting one, I sighed, something sounding content almost, releasing my last breath to the world.

My mark.

Angel would atleast feel that.

I leaned back and gave my life to the wind.

**  
Hurry I'm falling**

**  
I'm falling**

**  
I'm falling**

"NO! CONNOR!"****

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing

My eyes widened and quickly whirled to see him, my father, on the same roof only yards away and rushing forward towards me, pale face a mask of undeniable terror and horror, and both arms reaching out as he ran.

I was shocked.

And a breath hitched in my still-living body as I, against my will and wishes of dying quickly, reached out also, hoping against hope our fingers atleast touched before I fell.

My father hated me.

He wouldnt come here to save me.

**  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be**

But he was too far away, and I fell back before our skin could meet and contact, plummeting over the side of the building.

**And say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

"CONNOR! OH GOD, NO! DONT LEAVE ME! I CANT LOSE YOU!"

**Hurry I'm falling**

I saw, with a frenzied burst of speed, my father leap forward.

But I was confused as to why.

He should only be watching this.

Watching me.

He HATED me.

"CONNOR!"

**And say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

And then a hand, a cold grip but a warm touch, snagged my thin wrist, stopping my descent into nothingness, peaceful oblivion, but slamming me harshly against the brick wall as I was suspended in mid-air, face scratched and turned away to rest against the cool and rough surface.

I let out an anguished cry as I still hung there.

Why was he doing this?

Why was he...SAVING me?

"Connor..."

And then I felt it.

Something I thought impossible to witness.

Something unimaginable coming from my father.

A vampire.

An angel.

But they dropped onto my head and cheeks with their own proof, mixing with my own tears that still ran freely down my face.

He was supposed to be strong.

Nothing could break his being, his spirit, his SOUL, but...

My father was crying.

_**XXXXFALLINGXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

**And say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

"Connor. I love you."

His child raised his eyes.

And broke.

Connor started to sob.

Angel pulled him up quickly, and never letting go, they both fell to their knees, arms wrapped around each other as they cried together, a beautiful and stunning city all around them.

_**--Show me what it's like**_

_**And I'll leave this life behind me--**_

_**XXXXNOTFALLINGXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

**THE END**

**(A/N):_ This is how it shouldve ended. _**

_**I luv Connor Angel. **_

**_R&R if u wanna._**


End file.
